.svg){kind=small}
Workplace conflict is a disagreement or tension between people whose goals, expectations, behaviour, communication or interests are not aligned. Conflict is not always harmful. Different views can improve decisions and expose problems that need attention. The difficulty arises when disagreement becomes personal, remains unresolved or starts damaging trust, wellbeing and performance.
Effective conflict resolution aims to understand what is really happening, address the issue early and find a workable way forward without pretending that everyone must agree on everything.
Why does workplace conflict happen?
Common causes include:
- unclear roles or responsibilities
- competing priorities
- poor communication
- different working styles
- unequal workloads
- limited resources
- missed expectations
- personality differences
- change and uncertainty
- perceived unfairness
- inappropriate behaviour
- poorly handled feedback
The visible argument is not always the real issue. Two colleagues may appear to be arguing about a deadline when the deeper problem is that each believes the other repeatedly ignores their priorities.
Is conflict always bad?
No. Constructive disagreement can be useful.
A team that never disagrees may be avoiding difficult topics or allowing one viewpoint to dominate.
Healthy task conflict can:
- challenge weak assumptions
- generate alternative ideas
- identify risks
- improve decisions
Conflict becomes more damaging when attention moves from the issue to the person.
Compare:
I do not think this plan gives us enough time to test the system.
with:
You never think anything through properly.
The first challenges an idea. The second attacks the person.
Why should conflict be addressed early?
Acas research and guidance emphasise the value of informal and early resolution where appropriate. Small misunderstandings can become entrenched when people stop communicating and begin interpreting every new event through an existing grievance.
Early action can prevent:
- rumours
- alliances and factions
- reduced cooperation
- absence
- stress
- formal grievances
- loss of productive time
Early resolution does not mean minimising a serious issue. Bullying, harassment, discrimination or serious misconduct may require formal procedures.
Step 1: Identify what the conflict is actually about
Ask each person to describe:
- what happened
- what they expected to happen
- what impact the situation has had
- what they need now
Avoid beginning with labels such as “personality clash”. That description can obscure solvable issues involving workload, communication or responsibility.
Step 2: Separate positions from interests
A position is what someone says they want.
An interest is the reason it matters.
For example:
- Position A: “The meeting must be at 9am.”
- Position B: “The meeting cannot be at 9am.”
That appears impossible to resolve.
But the interests might be:
- Person A needs decisions before speaking to a client at 11am.
- Person B needs to complete school drop-off and cannot arrive before 9:30am.
Once the interests are understood, other solutions become possible.
Step 3: Listen for understanding
Active listening is particularly important during conflict because people often listen only for information they can challenge.
Useful techniques include:
- letting the other person finish
- summarising what you heard
- asking open questions
- checking facts
- acknowledging concerns without automatically agreeing
You might say:
So your concern is not that Priya changed the schedule, but that you did not know about the change until your client meeting had already started. Is that correct?
Clarifying the issue can immediately reduce unnecessary disagreement.
Step 4: Use neutral language
Words can either reduce or increase tension.
Instead of:
You deliberately left me out.
try:
I was not included in the email about the change, so I did not have the information when I spoke to the client.
Neutral language focuses on what happened rather than assuming intent.
Step 5: Reframe personal accusations
Reframing turns an unproductive statement into an issue that can be discussed.
For example:
He is impossible to work with.
can become:
You need clearer agreement about who makes the final decision when project priorities conflict.
Reframing does not dismiss emotion. It translates the concern into something actionable.
Step 6: Find areas of agreement
People in conflict often have more shared interests than they realise.
They may both want:
- the project to succeed
- customers to receive accurate information
- workloads to be manageable
- fewer last-minute changes
- clearer decisions
Shared goals create a useful foundation for exploring solutions.
Step 7: Generate options before choosing one
If people argue about one proposed solution, broaden the discussion.
Ask:
- What else could work?
- What would make this easier for both of you?
- What information needs to be shared earlier?
- What should happen when priorities conflict?
Separating option generation from decision-making can help people move beyond a win-or-lose argument.
Step 8: Agree specific actions
A conflict-resolution meeting should finish with clarity.
Agree:
- what each person will do
- what will change
- which boundaries apply
- how information will be shared
- when progress will be reviewed
“Communicate better” is too vague.
“If a client deadline changes, update the shared project board and message both account leads on the same working day” is much clearer.
What is the Thomas-Kilmann conflict model?
The Thomas-Kilmann model describes five broad approaches to conflict based on assertiveness and cooperation:
- Competing - pursuing your own position strongly
- Accommodating - prioritising the other person's position
- Avoiding - not engaging with the conflict
- Compromising - each side gives up something
- Collaborating - seeking a solution that addresses underlying interests
No style is automatically correct in every situation.
A safety emergency may require a manager to act decisively. A low-value disagreement may not deserve a lengthy collaborative process. Complex relationship problems may benefit from deeper exploration.
When is avoiding conflict appropriate?
Avoiding is not always weakness.
It may be sensible when:
- the issue is trivial
- you need time to gather facts
- emotions are too high for a useful conversation
- another process needs to occur first
The problem is habitual avoidance of important issues.
Conflict and assertiveness
Assertiveness allows people to express needs and boundaries without becoming aggressive.
Useful assertive language includes:
I need changes to the rota to be confirmed before Friday because I arrange childcare around the published schedule.
See Assertive vs Aggressive vs Passive Communication.
Conflict and difficult conversations
Resolving conflict often requires a conversation people would rather avoid.
Preparation helps you separate facts from assumptions, manage your own emotions and focus on a constructive outcome.
See How to Handle Difficult Conversations at Work.
When should a manager get involved?
Employees should often be encouraged to resolve ordinary disagreements directly if they can do so safely and constructively.
A manager may need to intervene when:
- the conflict is affecting other people
- work is being disrupted
- one person feels unable to address it directly
- there is a significant power imbalance
- previous attempts have failed
- the issue could involve misconduct
The manager should avoid acting as a judge before understanding both perspectives.
What is workplace mediation?
Mediation involves an independent, impartial person helping those involved in a disagreement explore the issues and try to reach a solution.
Acas identifies mediation as one approach that can help with workplace relationship problems, communication difficulties and personality clashes.
Mediation is usually voluntary and is not appropriate for every situation.
Informal resolution vs formal grievance
Many relationship problems can be resolved informally.
Formal processes may be necessary when:
- the issue is serious
- informal resolution has failed
- policy requires formal investigation
- allegations involve bullying, harassment, discrimination or misconduct
Managers should follow organisational procedures and seek appropriate HR or legal guidance where necessary.
How to manage conflict in remote teams
Remote work can create additional communication challenges because:
- text messages lack tone and body language
- people may have fewer informal opportunities to repair misunderstandings
- time zones can create delayed responses
- video meetings can make interruptions harder to interpret
When tension appears, moving from a long email chain to a private conversation can help.
Use written channels for clear records and routine information, but do not try to solve every emotional disagreement through increasingly lengthy messages.
How managers can prevent unnecessary conflict
Managers can reduce avoidable conflict by providing:
- clear roles
- clear priorities
- realistic workloads
- regular feedback
- transparent decision-making
- consistent standards
- opportunities to raise concerns early
Conflict-management skill is important, but prevention also depends on good everyday management.
Common conflict-resolution mistakes
- Choosing sides too early. Important information may be missed.
- Forcing an apology. A reluctant scripted apology does not necessarily resolve the issue.
- Focusing only on personalities. Structural causes such as workload can remain.
- Insisting everyone must like each other. Professional cooperation is a more realistic objective.
- Ignoring power differences. Not everyone feels equally able to speak openly.
- Letting meetings become accusation sessions. Keep returning to issues, impact and solutions.
- Ending without actions. The same conflict returns.
A simple conflict-resolution framework
- Define the issue.
- Hear each perspective.
- Separate facts, assumptions and emotions.
- Identify underlying interests.
- Clarify shared goals.
- Generate options.
- Agree specific actions.
- Follow up.
Frequently asked questions
What is the first step in resolving workplace conflict?
Clarify what the disagreement is actually about and hear the perspectives of the people involved before trying to impose a solution.
Should managers always mediate conflict?
No. Employees can often resolve ordinary disagreements directly. Managers should intervene when the issue affects work, cannot be resolved safely or may require organisational procedures.
What if one person refuses to discuss the conflict?
Explain the impact on work and what participation is expected. If the issue remains unresolved, follow organisational procedures and seek HR support where appropriate.
Does compromise always resolve conflict?
No. Compromise can be useful, but sometimes it leaves both sides dissatisfied. Exploring underlying interests may produce a better solution.
Can workplace conflict be healthy?
Yes. Respectful disagreement about ideas or priorities can improve decisions. Personal attacks, unresolved tension and harmful behaviour are different.
When should conflict become formal?
This depends on seriousness, organisational policy and whether informal approaches are appropriate. Serious allegations should not be forced through an informal process.
Develop your conflict-resolution skills with ExperTrain
ExperTrain's half-day Conflict Resolution course develops practical skills in understanding behaviour, managing reactions, active listening, questioning, assertiveness, feedback, reframing and constructive resolution.
It forms part of our wider Professional Development training portfolio.
Related courses include Handling Difficult Conversations, Increasing Assertiveness and Communication Skills.
Further reading
Found this article useful? Add ExperTrain as a Preferred Source on Google to help surface more of our training guides, articles and learning resources.
.png){kind=small}
